Restless

Recently I´ve been thinking of my incapacity to stay still. Most of the time, I´m doing something, or at least making plans about what I´m up to next. And most of the time, that´s something good, it keeps me going. But one has to wonder if that quote by Lennon isn´t right - life´s what happens when you´re too busy making plans. But if you don´t plan at all, you´re bound to waste life, also. So the thing is to find the middle. Balance. Grey areas.

Nothing´s absolute.

And I also wonder about this urge to do stuff. It´s like every single minute counts. They do! It´s like I knew there´s not much time. What´s the referrence here? I´ve had almost 20 years to do something. That´s not even a quarter of the time that I still have - hopefuly - to work with! Is this why elders are calmer? Cuz they think they´ve been through enough?

If time is relative, then why do we feel like we´re running out of it?

So here I rest - or not, less - in a place between doing too much and planning too much, ending up with neither and no middle, if that´s possible. I guess if you try to do too much you end up doing too little of each. But if you try too little, it feels like time wasted.

Ok, ok. I still have some long years of learning up ahead.

Choices

Life is definitely 100% sure made of the choices we make. And it´s so hard to choose when you know that! Because, from the second you become aware of this, you start to consider more about where this next step of yours is taking you; and you start to see the real difference it can make!
It can be stressful to decide things in this line of thought, but I believe, in the end, it brings us to a more enlightened decision.
But it is also a great weight to carry around: the awareness that you are what and where you wanted to. That´s why these things are so fluid and flexible, because they are subdued to the choices we make every day - even the littlest ones. And, if you don´t like the place where you´re at, it is also your responsibility.
So maybe this awareness lets us want bigger things, dream bigger dreams.
And we can, you know? Always...

Belonging

Ever since I was a little girl, I always had a very strong sense of belonging. I always knew where was I able to feel at home and who could I trust. And it has always worked for me. I guess that, as time goes by, we loose - or at least I lost - a lot of this. I don´t know if t´s due to the bad experiences we´ve had along the way. Perhaps. But perhaps it´s that we find, each and every time, littler of us in others. As our history occurs, we become more and more unique, in a way that we only feel like we belong with those whom we share a lot of things in common. And that´s not that common! It´s the other way around, really.
In the end, it feels like we only belong inside ourselves. It´s not really as if a place or a structure can hold us down. And even inside ourselves, we become mutated - mutating - inside our own previous concepts of what we are.
I guess what I mean is that we shouldn´t get too attached to a vision of what we are and where we are, because that is supposed to constantly change. I mean, that´s at the very least, what happens to me ^^