Path

Once again speaking of choices, let us talk about destiny. Some say our path has been set for us from before we were born, before we could choose. That's one way to see it, but I think it only tryes to put the responsability for our coices in somebody else's hands.

What I really think makes our destiny is every choice we make and the ones envolved in our future make.

If I make that overseas journey or not. If I choose to go to this college and not the other. If I take this bus and not the other one. If I go to this club and not the other. If I wake up 5 minutes later, if I look away too fast on a subway train. All of this, divided by all the people that actually take part in our future, that's what actually makes destiny what it is.

I once tryed to write this and give it away to a lot of people. I used to leave this note for people to find in buses and street benches. Maybe online it will work too.

Concept

It's incredible to see how different concepts - simple words made up by man to try and define a common sense of something to almost everyone - can seem to each one of us. How one simple word can mean so many different things to different people.

Love. Hope. Intimacy. Sex. Death. Complicity. Sharing. Trust. Loyalty.

It's amazing how human beings can assume that something like four or five lettes can capture the feeling of a moment. I don't think they can, most of the time. I do believe that, sometimes, you can only show in gestures what you mean. And, even so, it's not everyone that'll understand what you mean...

Most of the time, people will think they understand you. Most of the time, they won't.

I'm not really sure that you'll understand what I mean, if I'm not using the right words for your concepts. Because what you also have to realize is that, sometimes, it will apear as if we are using the same words for the same moment, when we might not be doing that. When we say I love you, when we say I trust you. When you think you can't get any closer to this person.

And, on the other hand, you have to realize that there are really different names for the same things. In another language, but also in ours, even if you consider body language.

I really wan't you to understand me. Get me. For real. I don't see how and I'm not really trying as hard as I could, even though I want it. Bad. I don't know if you can see that, and don't think it will be easy.

Do you get it?

Someone new...

An average human being changes all of the skin in his body in aproximately 90 days. Time passes and you actually change. You feel, act and look different because you really are. I´ve been away for that long, thus, became someone new too. Left my brazilian summer skin behind and aquired a new israeli winter one, influenced by the sand at the beaches in Tel Aviv and the snow at the Golan Heights, from the touch of new people to the absence of the ones that just weren´t there...

But this new skin is also to be shed, giving space to a new person, already mixed between what was and what will be, since we're always in motion...

What's left for real are the scars life leaves in us. And now I stop talking about skin as a metaphor, but about the invisible scars we carry with us and make us stronger and more fragile. It stays there like a private personal tattoo just for ourselves - most of the time not even the ones who inflicted them on us will notice.

But this is what comprises the essence of "I". You are. I am - always! And the skin may change, be sure it will! But we keep our DNA and we make it new time and time again. so next time we meet, ask me if I'm someone new. Ask me if I feel any different. It´s as outsider as it gets, as internal processes go, to change the skin you live in. ´Cause sometimes it sure feels like it´s not gonna hold me inside...