Anticipation

It kills me. To wait for something is one of the most mean thing you could do to me. It kills me to not know what's gonna happen - and I absolutely love it.

In the past few months I've been learning to play it by ear to see what comes next, and it really has been working out fine for me. I've found out that not knowing what's gonna happen next [and nothing beats not knowing what's gonna happen next] opens space for just about anything to happen. And don't you think that's much much better? Because, even though my imagination works like a charm, one can only imagine inside one's borders of thought, limiting what could be. Giving room to chance gives to new things you could'nt even imagine.

And when I said that waiting, for me, was brutal, I said that based on the same point: imagination. Waiting is the one thing that possibly brings out the worst part of our imagination, almost everytime waiting for the worse. And that's why I choose not to wait - when I can - and to make it clear for those who know me that I really dislike waiting. Even better, now I find things to do while I wait. Like writing about it.